After experiencing an unimaginable loss, Kelly Helsel felt called to begin a new chapter. Following 17 years as a stay-at-home mother, she returned to school to pursue her dream of becoming a counselor — hoping to offer others the same compassionate support and Catholic guidance that helped bring healing to her own life.
In 2023 Helsel's daughter, Mary Catherine, was stillborn. The experience and grief was ultimately "a huge catalyst to me going back to school," Helsel told EWTN News.
"I think death has an interesting way of snapping your priorities in line," she said. "And through the death of our daughter, I understood that tomorrow was not promised. And I had been holding this dream very closely for 17 years, just trusting," she said.
"Much of my healing process after the stillbirth of our daughter was helped along by solid Catholic counseling," she said. "So I just felt a whisper at first, and then I felt like, 'I can turn around and be this for someone else in need.' And so I did."
Path back to school
A native of Arizona, Helsel met her now-husband, Doug, in high school. She then attended Northern Arizona University to receive a bachelor's degree in psychology with the hopes of becoming a counselor, but motherhood ultimately became her first priority.
"My firstborn … was born during finals week of my bachelor's degree," Helsel said. "I actually had a positive pregnancy test the day before I was scheduled to take the GRE [Graduate Record Examination]."
"I just knew that motherhood was the priority and that God's timing would take care of things. So I stayed at home," she said.
Helsel decided to put her plans of working as a counselor on the side and focus on her growing family. She and her husband had seven children over the next 17 years, but after the loss of their sixth child she felt called to switch her plans and return to school.
"We just started taking one step in front of the other," she said. Helsel started by applying to the University of Mary's master's program for counseling about six months after her daughter's passing but was thrown an unexpected "curveball" during the process.
"On the feast of the Annunciation, I got in. But then I also had a positive pregnancy test with my daughter, Isabel, on the very same day."
"I remember standing in the bathroom with my husband with my phone in one hand with an acceptance letter, and on the counter was a positive pregnancy test with our seventh baby."
Motherhood provided 'the skills to be a fantastic student'
Despite navigating grief, welcoming a new baby, and continuing to care for the rest of her family, Helsel not only decided to return to school but also opted for a five-semester accelerated program.
She graduated on April 25 with a 4.0 GPA and her whole family by her side. It was all possible not in spite of her 17 years as a stay-at-home mom but because of the experience.
"I actually think that motherhood, 17 years of motherhood, gave me the skills to be a fantastic student," she said. "I learned time management. I learned prioritization. I learned how to ask for help. I learned all kinds of things in the trenches of motherhood that gave me the opportunity to really thrive at UMary."
"I guess the loss of my daughter really showed me that like all things are 'figure-out-able,'" she said. "When you've gone through something like that, it makes you unafraid to do really big things."
"I knew that I could just cannonball into the deep end and we could do this. And my husband was an amazing support throughout the program. But, Isabel was the curveball of all curveballs," she said.
"She was born during Christmas break and I just jumped back in in January. I didn't take any time off," she said. "I would be in a rocking chair breastfeeding her, and my laptop is sitting next to me and I'm listening to a lecture."
"I became a pro at using the dictation tool on Microsoft Word" so "I could hold my baby and dictate a paper," she said. "It was just a really wild time. I learned to be extremely flexible and gentle with myself ... But I just knew God was like, 'go, go right now.'"
"It was super bumpy at some points," she said. "But I chose the University of Mary because I feel like [University of Mary president] Monsignor [James] Shea and the university really put their money where their mouth is in terms of supporting nontraditional students — especially mothers."
"All of my professors were extremely accommodating with extensions if I needed one. A few professors gave me early finals because Isabel was born right at the end of that first semester," she said. "So the University of Mary was really crucial to my success because everyone was behind me."
Helsel noted that her professors, especially counseling professor Olivia Wedel, and other facility members and students were champions in cheering her "all the way to the finish line."
Waddell "would always remind me that 'I'm surrounded by support,'" Helsel said. "When you're super tired and you're on your fourth Crock-Pot meal of the week and you don't have anymore bandwidth left, I just thought, 'I am surrounded by support.'"
"Jesus is real and his promises are too," Helsel said. "I just remember really having to trust the Lord in a new way and also having to be very open to my dream not looking exactly like I wanted."
"So yes, I went back to school and I got a master's degree, but it looked absolutely nothing like I thought it was going to, but it was also better, just like he had promised me."
"Your dreams matter to him," she said. "Trust him, and especially Our Lady, with your dreams. Because he wants both. He wants your motherhood and your dreams."
Catholic counseling offers 'the keys to real human flourishing'
Officially a licensed counselor, Helsel is ready to jump in headfirst to help others in need by utilizing the guidance offered by the Catholic Church.
"I believe very deeply that the Catholic Church has the keys to real human flourishing," she said. "So I knew I wanted to become a mental health professional with those guardrails in place, because I benefited so much from Catholic counseling."
"I want to turn back around and help the next woman or couple or … anyone in line that needs to hear the good news, coupled with solid mental health formation. Like St. Thomas Aquinas says, 'faith and reason.' We need both."
With her "perinatal mental health training," Helsel hopes to primarily work in the women's health category "to support other women, pregnant women, postpartum women," she said. "And obviously I have a love for people who may have lost a child in a particular way."
Helsel is interested in helping those discerning vocations, as her oldest son plans to apply to the priesthood. She is also hoping to support the vocation of marriage as it is "under a particular attack at this time."
To accomplish all of this, Helsel has already started her own private practice called Concordia Counseling.
"I chose Concordia because Mary Catherine had a congenital heart condition," she said. "Concordia means heart to heart or to bring two hearts into harmony. I wanted to honor my baby in heaven and Our Lord with my work. And so I started Concordia Counseling."
"I'm just getting it started. I have a caseload of about 10 clients, but I'm hoping to accept more," Helsel said. "I know that the work I want to do most of all involves not just mental health but the teachings of the Catholic Church."
"I just think the framework needs to be formed properly, and that is the Catholic understanding of the whole person. And from there we can jump off anywhere," she said.
