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Denver, Colo., Jan 2, 2016 / 03:09 pm (CNA).- If you’re a Catholic on Facebook, or the internet in general, chances are SC Naoum has made you laugh. Or he’s made you angry.

If he’s done his job the way he wants, he’s done both.

Naoum is the man, the myth, the legend behind the Catholic satire site, Eye of the Tiber. Catholic News Agency had a chance to sit down with the Californian writer and professional smart aleck to talk inspiration, excommunication (well, his nightmares of it), and of course all those people who think it’s actual news.   

1: What first inspired you to start writing Eye of the Tiber?

I've loved satire for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, anyone who loves the Church can recognizes that satire, like most everything else that's good in this world, like literature, poetry, music, the sciences and so on has been secularized. Heck, even Judeo-Christian symbols like the rainbow and the thunderbolt were taken by those typically most hostile to the Church. The rainbow, of course, represents God's covenant with Noah. The world now sees it as a symbol representing man's covenant with another man. The thunderbolt, I understand, never really represented anything for the Church, but I kinda wish it did, because thunderbolts are pretty awesome, and I'd love an excuse to get one of them tattooed on me.

Where the heck was I? Ah yes, what inspired me? Love for the Church and love for good satire. The Onion is wonderful. Their ability to poke fun and to reveal truths with sometimes subtle, sometimes absurd headlines is breathtaking. But there was so many times I thought, and still do think, that they could tone down the sacrilege a notch or ten. And so, cue light bulb, and the idea of a Catholic satire site was born.

2: What is your goal for Eye of the Tiber?

To piss off every Catholic at least once. If you're not happy with that answer, please delete and insert this: to shed light on the absurdity of some of the things going on in the Church while giving people an opportunity to laugh at themselves. And also not getting excommunicated. You think the last part's a joke, but it's not. I've literally had nightmares of being excommunicated because of an article. But the nightmare's always followed by a happy dream about me being handcuffed and led to a tribunal during the Spanish Inquisition, and realizing that Toquemada is the Grand Inquisitor for my case, and he sets me free because Torqumada wasn't as bad as he's been made out to be.

Anyhow, that's my goal for EOTT. Not the weird dream part per se, but letting readers know about random Catholic facts that I find interesting, while poking fun on important things like liturgical dancing and the other 7 Deadly Sins.       

3: Are you a one-man team? Do you take submissions?

I've written most of the articles on the site. I've had a couple submissions from readers, and about ten to fifteen from friends. I don't really accept articles from readers anymore because I found it difficult to deny someone when I didn't think their article was a good fit for the site. It always made me feel bad to say no. It especially made me feel bad when that one guy I denied told me to shove it. I didn't want to shove it, that's the thing. I wasn't telling him that it wasn't funny...just that it simply wasn't a good fit. I remember that I had had a long work week, and I was tired and had so many things going on, and shoving it was seriously the last thing on my mind. So I didn't. I just decided that I'd no longer take submissions.

4. Where does your inspiration for articles come from?

Whiskey.

5. When you're not running EOTT, what do you do?

I love hanging out with my family. I love reading, writing, praying, and working out. That last part was a lie. I hate working out. I have no idea what I was trying to pull off with that lie.

6. What has been the most popular EOTT article?

Peter Jackson Announces Plans For 72-Part Movie Series of the Silmarillion is the most popular EOTT article written. It got like 100k+ Facebook likes, 600+ Twitter reposts or whatever you call them, and a bunch of other relatively impressive stats as well. Actually, there was a while there where if you googled "Silmarillion" it was the top post in Google News. That was kinda awesome.

Best part about the article, though, is that it wasn't even written by me. It was written by a priest friend, Fr. Andy Younan (Twitter: @Jonah_3001). The thing with many of these articles, as Fr. Andy (Twitter: @Jonah_3001) would agree with is that the ones you think are gold will typically suck and the ones you think will suck, will typically turn gold. It's an odd thing that neither I (Twitter: @SCNaoum), nor Fr. Andy (Twitter: @Jonah_3001) can figure out. So if you ever see an article that just absolutely sucks, it's because I (Twitter: @SCNaoum) thought it was genius. Don't be frustrated. It was an honest mistake.

7. Which EOTT article has cause the most controversy?

I can't remember exactly which article caused the most controversy, but I know that the ones written about the Mass typically get the most heated. If I write an article titled, Report: Some 2nd Century Roman Christians Hated Latin Mass Because It Was Said In The Vernacular, I know I'm gonna piss off liturgical traditionalists. If I write one titled, Clown At Circus Mass Reprimanded For Honking Sanctus Horn At Wrong Part Of Consecration, I know it's gonna piss off whatever the complete opposite of a liturgical traditionalist is. I think they're called Protestants, actually.

8. How often do people think EOTT is a real news source?

Very often. [Awkward silence]. Is there a follow up to the question?

9. How can satire speak truth in ways that news sources or other media cannot?

Satire is an interesting art form. It's not only the greatest form of passive aggression there is, but it is, at the same time, the most direct form of criticism and examination. While proper journalism takes the issue at hand and attempts to reveal the fact of the matter, proper satire takes that very same matter assumed to be factual, beats it to a pulp, dissects it, finds the inaccuracy in what the media is reporting, siphons off the inaccuracy, beats it to a pulp once more just for good measure, waterboards it to make sure it has all the details, and represents it in a way so that the average reader can truly understand the fact of the matter without the spin. It's in this way that satire is passive aggressive and at the same time direct. It takes a round about way of delivering direct truths. You know what I'm saying? Good, cause I sure as heck don't.

10. What is your favorite liturgical dance?

My top three are The Catholic Carlton, Walk Like an Egyptian Coptic, and of course The Cha Cha Slide, Stand, Sit, Stand, Kneel.
 

This article was originally published on CNA Sept. 4, 2015 with the headline, 'Who's behind the mysterious Eye of the Tiber?'

 

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(Vatican Radio)  Militants in India today attacked an airforce base near the border with Pakistan and exchanged fire with security forces for several hours, leaving all five gunmen and two Indian soldiers dead. The attack is being seen as an attempt to undo recent progress in relations between India and Pakistan.

Listen to Carol Andrade's report:

On Friday morning, a Punjab police superintendent and two others had their SUV hi-jacked on the Pathankot-Jammu Highway by five men in army fatigues and carrying heavy automatic weapons.

Fifteen hours later, at 3.30 am today, with the whole of Punjab and J&K on high alert about a possible terror attack, five men scaled the walls of the Indian Air Force base at Pathankot as a helicopter gunship hovered above for just such an event. One man was killed in firing immediately, three others over the next few hours.

Finally, at around 5 pm, news came in that the fifth terrorist had also been killed, after being flushed out from the hiding place within the base where he had gone to ground. The IAF also lost two soldiers in the attack.

The success of the operation is being attributed to the way all intelligence agencies from the police, the army and the intelligence bureaus swiftly pooled their resources to bring matters to a proper conclusion.

However, Indo-Pak relations experts are pointing out that nothing should have come as a surprise, that the event follows an established pattern. Whenever talks between the two countries seem to promise fruitfulness, there is usually an incident, either before or after the event.

India’s prime minister Narendra Modi was in Lahore just a week back on a surprise visit to his counterpart Nawaz Sharif, and he had been very warmly received.

Against that background, political observers are seeing this development as a huge challenge to Modi. Predictably, there are sources pointing to elements across the border as being responsible for the attack. Equally predictably, Sharif has sent condolences and swift condemnation, with a plea that the current diplomatic détente not be derailed.

In the end, however, it is up to Mr Modi to decide on the Indian response to this latest outrage.

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(Vatican Radio)  Voters in Haiti will go to the polls later this month on January 17th in the second round, runoff election to choose the country's new president, yet instability and unrest surrounds the elections.

Listen to James Blears' report:

The Presidential Election runoff was supposed to be last week. It had to be put back due to street protests and accusations of electoral fraud.  A special commission to investigate this has been formed.

President Michel Martelly, who's constitutionally prohibited from running for another term, is appealing for calm and common sense to prevail.  He's urging voters to respect the process, exercise their rights, and vote.

He also points out that the latest a second round runoff can take place is January 17th, if a new President is to be inaugurated by February 7th.

Haiti is the poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere. It was devastated by a massive earthquake in 2010, which killed an estimated quarter of a million of its population, destroying vast amounts of infrastructure. 

The recovery and rebuilding process is far from over.

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(Vatican Radio)  Residents in Crimea face several more months of power shortages after Russia apparently ended a contract with Ukraine to deliver electricity to the peninsula, which also saw a perceived crackdown on Ukrainian culture in Russian-annexed Crimea. 

Listen to Stefan Bos' report:

Russia's Energy Minister Alexander Novak said Moscow isn't eager to make a New Year deal with Ukraine to supply electricity to Crimea, which Russia annexed in 2014. He suggested that Russian President Vladimir Putin would not renew the contract, which expired on New Year's day, as Kiev insisted on stipulating in the contract that the peninsula belongs to Ukraine.

"According to Kiev, the contract must contain the following formulation: 'Electricity is supplied to Crimea on the territory of Ukraine.' We disagreed with that formulation. I reported this to President Putin."

It prompted Putin to commission an opinion poll to determine whether Crimean residents want to be a part of Ukraine to continue getting power supplies from Ukrainian company Ukrenegro.

Russian media claimed that over 90 percent of Crimeans said in the poll they would be against renewing the contract under those circumstances, even if it meant experiencing more minor disruptions in supply.

Electricity shortages

That's why New Year has begun amid electricity shortages throughout the peninsula of two million people.

After a month of on-and-off electricity supplies from Ukraine due to sabotage of high-voltage transmission lines feeding the peninsula, power to Crimea was reportedly officially cut off at midnight local time on December 31.

Yet, residents trying to briefly forget their misery by going to a theater may face difficulties amid a perceived crackdown on Ukrainian culture.  

Even a popular children's drama school that staged Ukrainian-language plays in Crimea is shutting down after what its founders described as a campaign of harassment from local officials. 

Svitanok or Sunrise had taught children for more than two decades and was a well-established institution in Crimea's regional capital Simferopol.  

Girl's crown

But its latest performance was condemned by local culture officials as it alleged promoted both Ukrainian nationalism and Western symbols. 

They reportedly took offense at the costume of a little girl wearing a golden crown and impersonating the sun which they interpreted as a reference to New York's Statue of Liberty. 

Songs Of The Amazon, performed in December to mark St. Nicholas Day, told the story of Amazons -- the female warriors of Greek myth -- battling evil and fighting for freedom and the independence of their native land. 

But those battles aren't welcomed by authorities in 21th century Crimea which, at least for the moment, has been partly plunged into darkness.

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