When you meet Abby it doesn't take long to realize what an amazing person she is. She is intelligent, quick witted and always lights up a room with her presence. Of course I didn't always feel this way about her. When we first began working together she was happily married and I thought of her as a valuable part of the team, a great coworker and eventually a good personal friend. My feelings for Abby began to change as I watched her navigate her divorce. She did it with such a strong faith and so much grace it literally astounded me. I have walked down that same road without a fraction of the courage that she showed. I thought that one day some guy will be lucky to have such an amazing Godly woman in his life.
During that same time I was walking through a tragedy in my own life. My daughter's body was rejecting the double lung transplant that had saved her life. I didn't have much time to think about the little crush I had on my coworker. Instead Abby ended up becoming one of my best friends. Throughout the entire ordeal with Maddy's rejection Abby was able to give me insight like no one else in my life. I don't know how or why but she always seemed to have the right words to get me through each phase. It's hard to believe that anything good can come from walking with your child as they die but we always tried to look for the good in every situation. We were able to talk to each other about everything. Maddy wanted me to honor her by living a full and happy life. One of the discussions we had in those final days was about my little crush on Abby. Maddy told me that if I had even the slightest chance to be with Abby I would be a fool not to take it.
As you can imagine after Maddy died my world collapsed. I was held up by my friends, my family and the amazing family of listeners we have here at Spirit FM. I found myself drawn closer to Abby than I ever thought possible. I found myself looking for reasons to text her. On Good Friday I was hanging out with my sister at our neighborhood joint and I heard one of the artists we play on Spirit FM playing on their sound system. The perfect excuse to text Abby! The little conversation lead to me asking if she wanted to meet up for dinner. By this time it was apparent we both had growing feelings for one another. She told me she had come to dinner with the intention of keeping our relationship firmly in the friend zone. Fortunately I was able to talk her out of that idea. Two years later I proposed to her on that very spot and she said YES!
I am the luckiest guy ever! I couldn't ask for a better partner. Abby is loving and kind. Intelligent, quick witted and funny. Her spirituality is incredible. She radiates the love of Jesus in everything she does. We enjoy going to Mass together and praying together. She challenges me to be a better person in every aspect of my life. She is not afraid to call me to the carpet when I need it. She walks with me silently in my grief. She has just the right words and an amazingly fresh perspective on many of the trials I face. She is grateful for my friendship. She seems to understand me even when I do not. She is confident and secure in her beauty and grace. I could go on but I have made this too long already.
I honestly never thought my life would turn out like this. I am a little on the older side. I have already raised two children to adulthood. I have an adult son who suffers from the same disease that took my daughter's life and it will likely take his before God calls me home. Now I am basically starting over again with 4 and 6 year old step-sons. I have never felt better in my life! I do not deserve this second volume but God has blessed me with it anyway. All I can do is my best to honor this gift that God has given me and use it to show the hope we have in Christ to the world.
I always had hope. My divorce in 2014 was difficult, but from the very beginning, I knew there were bright skies ahead. And there were!
I took that first year to work on all the relationships in my life - my parents, friends, sons and God. They all became so much more rich than I ever could imagine. I went through the annulment process and received reassurance that that chapter of my life was peacefully closed.
Davis and I started working together more frequently and on a Monday after a weekend with back-to-back events, I made a joke to another one of the guys like, "Davis and I spend so much time together, we're pretty much dating" and he followed up with, "He's interested!" I really was shocked. So over the next few months I played it totally cool :) pretending like I was oblivious.
He was definitely not actively pursuing me, as he was journeying through the final days of life with his daughter. But we still came together to talk, and I think this is where we grew in appreciation and respect for each other. I've never been able to talk so candidly about life and death with anyone. Davis was open to hearing the honest words I felt compelled to share and I really feel like God was giving me the words his damaged heart needed to hear. I know they we NOT coming from this brain! I don't like talking about death!
So there we were. Both on our paths, coming together to share the load as friends. And then…
I was living with my parents and needed to get out of the house one night. He happened to text and asked if I wanted to grab dinner. We met up at Ella's in Seminole Heights on Good Friday. We didn't eat meat. I swear. I told my mom that I was going to tell him a relationship was not a good idea. Too many issues: We work together. One of us is slightly older than the other. I've still got a kid in diapers! After dinner, standing on the porch at Ella's I finally got the courage to say it and he shot down every one of my reasons (I think I was easy to convince). Two years later, on the same patio where he talked me into dating him, he proposed. And I said, "yes!"
Now here's the sappy part: He'll tell you he's the lucky one, but he's wrong. I am. No contest. We sit side-by-side in church, he holds my hand and I have to take a deep breath and just thank God for giving me this gift. I feel like I have so many dreams fulfilled in him. After my divorce I saw a counselor for about a year. At the end of that year is when I started dating Davis. He went to one of my sessions with me. My counselor asked, "What do you value the most about him?" As a straight-A student type, I like to always give the right answer. In this case I don't know if I gave the textbook correct answer: "his faith" or "his love for God" but I know I gave an answer that speaks volumes about Davis' character. I said, "If he says he is going to do something, he does it." If Davis says yes - he means yes. If he says he'll be there - he will. If he says he'll get something done - he will. That has been so refreshing and it's challenged me to be a person true to my word, too. Now as we are days away from getting married, I believe that random answer I gave to my counselor is a sign that I am marrying a very strong and solid man.
I never expected this. Never. On paper, we aren't the two you'd pair up. He's a southerner. I'm a yankee. He's not young… I'm less not young. He's got arms full of tattoos. I'm lucky I have my ears pierced! He's adventurous. I'm a big chicken. But what we have in common is way better than what makes us different and we are so stinkin' excited to start this journey of marriage.
Our Story (Volume II)
Man, has it been hard to not share our story with you over the past two years. Our Spirit FM listeners have been so amazing in supporting us in our trials that we really wanted to share our celebration too! Alas, co-workers dating has, understandably, put a kink in those plans. So here we are now, so excited to tell you that we are getting married on December 2nd.
At Spirit FM, we make it pretty clear that we honor and uphold the sanctity of life and value marriage. So we are excited to be able to bring this aspect of our lives to the airwaves and journey with you as we experience the ups and downs of being a married couple. We know that our story is not picture perfect. If you hit the rewind button, you wouldn't find the younger versions of Davis and Abby penning their tales to go like this. But we know that God's ways are better than our own. Life as a blended family will present plenty of challenges, but we are ready to take them one at a time with deep breaths, prayers and teamwork.
Life gives you opportunities to experience the same type of moment with a different perspective. The birth of a second child is different from the first. Starting a job at 45 is a world apart from starting one at 25. Playing with your two-year-old grandson is different than playing with you own two-year-old son. Now we get to experience the sacrament of marriage with a new perspective; we can approach it understanding fully that we are joining together to walk life's path and grow in holiness.
We pray that this part of our lives that we get to share will encourage you, challenge you and enrich your own marriages and relationships. Please pray that it does the same for us!
One final thought: A few months ago, when we were still trying to nail down the songs for our wedding, we were sitting in Church, listening to the song after communion. As soon as the song ended, we looked at each other and just knew it was the song we wanted. We didn't even have to say it! These words are what we are praying will always be on our hearts as we enter this sacrament with hope and joy.
The Servant Song
Will you let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I might have the grace
To let you be my servant too
I will weep when you are weeping
When you laugh, I'll laugh with you
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we've seen this journey through.
- With love & gratitude, Davis & Abby
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